Perhaps our very commonalities cause trouble in the first place. At least when someone speaks with a non-native accent, we can make some allowances for cross-cultural differences—well, some of the time, anyway. BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg’s empathy for the “small people” affected by the mess in the Gulf of Mexico still rubbed Americans the wrong way.

Problems in thoughtful, but still unpolished manuscripts frequently offer authors opportunities to become clearer in their own minds about what they want to say. While it can be frustrating to discover that something one sweated over for hours will not work, it helps to embrace the problems that emerge, because they frequently force one to make connections one had not seen before. The result will be not only greater clarity in the author’s own mind, but a sharper, crisper, more interesting manuscript.

Some of you might see a contradiction between this video and my previous blog post, Tough Love, since that post pushes students to learn how to write standard English well. There is no contradiction, however, because using language is all about communicating effectively with your audience. If you strive to make a good impression in a professional work environment in an English-speaking country, then standard English you must learn. But if you are communicating with friends and family and in other informal occasions, you can treat English much more flexibly. Of course, any deviations you produce will still tend to occur within the language’s flexible, but not arbitrary grammar and syntax, but that’s another story for another day.

[hat tip for video: kalinagoenglish]

Everything one needs to know to use the language clearly, correctly, and even stylishly is available in thousands of places, often free and rarely at a price of more than a few dollars. The nation is full of secondhand bookshops where $15 will get a used dictionary, an old copy of The Elements of Style, and a grammar handbook. Learning to write and speak clear, standard English is mostly a question of will. Some subjects require face-to-face instruction from an expert and hands-on practice under expert supervision. But when the subject is one’s own language, ignorance is a choice.

In some ways this idea applies to non-native speakers too. While you might need classes with a teacher, you should also study a lot on your own.

Source of quote: Art Scheck, “Old Books, Old Stories,” The Chronicle of Higher Education, Nov. 12, 2009.

I would like to spend the winter break on the beach; however, I do not have enough time or money for such a vacation.

I would have turned the paper in on time; however, my little brother’s dog ate my computer.

Sometimes, however, people prefer to put this word in the middle of a clause, like I just did. Then it needs to be set off by commas.

I would like to watch a movie. I can’t, however, because I have more papers to grade.

If you use however is at the end of a clause, it also needs a comma.

I would like to eat some candy corn. There is none in this apartment, however.

I would like to eat some candy corn. There is none in this apartment, however, so I will have to live without it.

There is no semi-colon before the however in the last example, because however does not begin an independent clause. Compare it with my first two examples. It is at the end of the first clause, as I hope the second-to-last example makes clear.

[further information]

• Run-on sentences
• Sentence fragments
• Parallel structure
• Mixed verb tenses and confusion about the differences between the simple past, past perfect, and present perfect
• Paragraph structure, transition sentences, and introductory and concluding paragraphs.

Native and non-native speakers alike make these mistakes. Some non-native speakers also had trouble with definite and indefinite articles. I always thought that the lack of articles was a peculiarity of Slavic languages, but I found the issue come up with some Korean students too. Some native speakers of Spanish also ran into trouble with the because they use this article differently in their own language.

Every au pair that I have taught has stories to tell about the parents and kids, because living with a family and raising kids forces au pairs to come to terms with American culture on a very basic level, starting with manners and food. Most can get annoyed, but they like it here, and many extend their stay from one year to two. Unfortunately, however, there are also families that make their au pair work six or seven days a week, and I have even heard of one that wanted to require its au pair to go to church, as if there were no such thing as freedom of conscience in this country.

The au pair agency is supposed to help au pairs who have been badly matched, but from the stories I hear, the results vary greatly by agency. Every horror story told me has come from someone working for Cultural Care. It seems its counselors have no incentives to make sure that the young women visiting this country have good working conditions. Little wonder, then, that their web page advertises “A flexible, affordable program!” (One possible translation: We can get you someone to work for you for $100 per week and we will not interfere if you make her work six or seven days a week.) By contrast, Au Pair in America has two major links on their modest homepage, “Become a Host Family” and “Become an Au Pair.” This setup reflects the reality I have heard from au pairs who came through this agency. The counselors work for both the parents and the au pairs. If there is a problem, a solution is worked out with both sides in mind.

I would like to be more specific, but I cannot without violating the privacy of students I have had. I just want to get the word out about the consistently bad stories I have heard about Cultural Care. I also want potential au pairs to think about what questions to ask before they sign a contract. Don’t just ask what the host family will expect of you. Find out how the au pair agency operates in this country. What incentives do its counselors have for looking after your best interests and not just those of the host family? How are disputes resolved? These questions matter, because unforeseen problems can easily arise. What if you unexpectedly encounter a family that doesn’t think you should go out at night during your free time? What if a host father thinks nothing of walking into your room when you’re not there and inspecting the contents of your fridge? Or what if no one in the host family eats together or talks, instead turning only to the TV or computer? What if the family lied to you about the working hours? These and many other issues can come up, and you need to have a way to resolve them. Make sure your agency will be on your side.

One cultural peculiarity of Americans is small talk. For instance, I have no trouble chatting with total strangers while waiting in a grocery store line or for a bus. When I try that in southern Germany, however, people look at me like I am very strange indeed, or so the reactions have seemed to me.

Culture also affects how we talk about ourselves at job interviews, which is the real point of this short post. You see, NPR recently did a story on the challenges non-native speakers encounter in the United States when hunting for a job. Check out Sally Herships, “Overcoming Cultural Barriers To Jobs.”

What do you think? Have you got any cross-cultural stories to share?

Related Posts:

• Confusable Words and Online Dictionaries
• Dictionaries Can Tell You How to Use Words
• Beware the Thesaurus

I’m making these recommendations right now, because one 8-week semi-intensive session at LADO ended and another is beginning. I want students who I will no longer see to be able to continue studying, and I am trying to get my new batch of students to take more responsibility for their own learning. Besides doing the material in their course, I believe students should also study on their own.

Of course, once you get into the habit of these short study sessions, you will find that you can schedule more. What about the five or ten minutes you spend waiting for a bus or train? What about the time you spend on the train? What about when you’re walking? You can’t look at your books then, but you could look at flash cards with idioms, confusing words, or irregular verbs. You could also simply try thinking in the language you are learning. In this way, the two hours you spend learning the language will grow substantially without actually costing you extra time. And because you are studying frequently and regularly, your brain and mouth and ears will grow accustomed to the language more quickly.

And you know what? It can be fun. It takes your mind off your daily troubles and lets you accomplish something in a short period of time. Pretty soon you will notice that you can feel good about this activity, which gives you one more reason to feel good about yourself. These positive feelings will spark you to keep up and even expand this new study habit.

According to the cafe’s website, such exchanges are popular in Latin America. If you know anything about this phenomenon, please tell me about it in a comment here.

I once did a language exchange with a Russian teacher, when I was working for Sprachstudio Lingua Nova in Munich. We met privately. She taught me Russian and I taught her English. I forget the exact details, but I believe we decided only to do one language per meeting, so as not to get confused. I have also seen two friends meet once per week and do one hour of German followed by one hour of French. Such exchanges might be less effective than a dedicated language course, but it is a good way to share resources, especially if your budget is small. Such exchanges can also supplement a language course. The trick is to have enough discipline to meet regularly and stay in the language being practiced for the time agreed to beforehand.